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January 11th 2018 I made an addition to my D.I.E.T (Daily Individual Empowerment Technique). As a woman in recovery from alcohol, drugs, and all that goes along with that life style I still struggle with the one addiction that was my first unhealthy addiction. Food Addiction/ Over Eating!
I have tried everything but continued to slip backwards into this addiction. Yes I can and do use the same program for this as I have been using for my other addictions and they do work to some extent but we have to eat. So as my faith and trust in God has increased so has my prayers.
The prayer for His help with the food addiction was answered with a program called Isagenix. This program has become a life saver for me. Not only am I losing weight and firming up the muscles but my energy level as increased and my chronic pain level has decreased. I do not crave sweets and actually they don’t even appeal to me when they are right in front of me. I am more focused on things in my daily life such as the ministry that God has chosen for me, Recovery Peer Advocate.
I have an amazing life today and it all began with putting down the alcohol and drugs July 2, 2009 and hitting my knees July 4, 2009 asking for His help. Recovery is my passion and recovery is not only not drinking, drugging, dealing, and dying but it is also about living and loving life. It is finally being able to work full-time and say goodbye to being on disability after 22 years. It is about letting go of negativity and holding on to positivity. It is being able to say I love the woman I am becoming. And it is about being grateful to be alive, sober, clean, and healthier. It is about having a relationship with God, myself, my children,grandchidren, family, and other human beings.
Susan Sedgwick Tyrrell
I know that it has been a long time since I have been able to do anything on this site. As soon as I started it, thinking I was going to have all hinds of time on my hands, God says no way, “I have more for you than this to do”.
And so, he did.
I started on a new journey and many life changing things happened one right after the other. As always some filled me with a joy that I cannot really explain but some filled me with a sadness that I don’t understand myself at times. I can tell you however that God carried me through each situation that I came to.
In August I started bible class, something I have never done before. I have been wanting to learn more and more about my God since He has given me a life of recovery. Wanting to know Him on a deeper level is a hunger and a thirst that fills me better than any food, drug, alcohol, or anyone or anything could ever do.
I was also hired to start a career that has been on my mind for a few years. I am now a Recovery Peer Advocate with New Choices Recovery Center in Schenectady NY and the Center of Treatment Innovations project from OASAS. It is, I think, the best job I have ever had. I totally enjoy helping others and especially those who have the same illness I have. This career change has not only opened my mind to different pathways of recovery but also by advocating for my peers it is teaching me how to be a better advocate for myself also.
My supervisor told me that I can be as creative as I wanted to be with my position. This meat that I was able to utilize other gifts that God has blessed me with. I organize events such as sober dances and parties, opening an art gallery in my office, started a recovery support group, help organize other recovery events and am currently working on a newsletter. As a peer advocate I can do everything I enjoy doing.
There has, like I stated earlier, been some sad times also over the past few months. I have had three very strong women go to be with the Lord. The first one was my AA sponsor and friend. She has been there for me for the last 8 years. Maryann taught me how to live life, reach for the stars, walk through hard times like losing my grandkids when the state made my daughter sign the papers for them to be adopted. I used to run and hide from death, but she taught me how to walk through it with love and help the one passing into the next world do so with grace and dignity and not fear. Maryann was and still is an amazing lady and sponsor. When I am struggling with things I remember what she taught me.
Shortly after her passing we lost my sister in law and two weeks later my mother in law. They both accepted me in the family. Sharon never let anything bother her. She showed me that if you wanted anything you had to work for it. Always accepting of others and not judging. She was strong-willed and fought to live life her way till the end.
Mom was also strong- willed. She lived her life her way as well. If she loved, you and was devoted to you there was nothing she wouldn’t do for you. She taught me that there were behaviors and attitudes that I do not want in my life today. She also taught me that you really need to think long and hard before making decisions that will alter your life forever.
There was the joy of watching my daughter me the strong woman that I knew she was and walking away from a relationship that was not heathy for her and her children. And there was the sentencing of my son to serve in jail. Although it was sad and hard to watch, being in the court room and hearing him take responsibility for his actions made it a little easier.
Ending the year with a decision I made for me and taking action on that decision at the start of the New Year was also a life changing event for me. Earlier I wrote that I was learning to advocate for myself. Since I have been in recovery getting healthier has become important to me. So I decided to begin the New Year with a healthier outlook and am beginning my journey with a program called Isagenix. This will aid me not only with weight loss but also change the enzymes and ph balance in my body, making it less acidic, taking away the inflammation. Being healthier will give me more time, more energy to enjoy life, family, and do whatever God has planned for me.
Wishing everyone the Happiest, Healthiest New Year ever.
I Give You Never Ending Life and Love
I am still that baby reborn unto You, that little girl still holding You so tightly Lord
But I am grown up today as I walk continuously down the path of life with You Lord
You my Lord are holding my right hand, Jim is holding my left hand and we are walking down the path of the different seasons, on our journey together
Your beautiful creations all around us: the colors of autumn, the glistening purity of winter, the rebirth of spring, the warmth of summer.
There are beautiful white butterflies surrounding us, one riding of my left hand and one on my right hand.
They are guardian angels from the past.
I hear Your sweet whispers as You remind me that life is never ending as you breath Your Holy Spirit into my soul to refresh Your love in me
The butterflies lead us continuously through time, no doors to walk through, just a constant and closer walk down the path of the future with You Jesus
I look back and I see where I came from, I look down at my feet and see where my journey has brought me so far, and I look ahead and see where Your love for me will take me
As we walk together today You speak gently into my ears and Your words rest on my heart and in my soul as I hear You say
“Your old life ends today but at the same time your new life begins today and continues to flourish for both of you.
As you continue to walk with me, life and love never ending I will give to you both”
Susan M. Sedgwick
I was broken and angry
Angry at the world and angry at God
I felt lost and all alone
The alcohol and the drugs were my best friends
They always were there to comfort and console the pain
But then they abandoned me just like everyone and everything else did
Our relationship ended July 1st
I didn’t know what to do
How do I live with the friends who turned against me?
But how do I live without the only ones I ever trusted
It was July 4th and nobody would hear the gun with the fireworks
My heart ached, I was scared that my life would come to an end
I fell to the ground and looked up at the stars
I cried out for God to prove He loved me as everyone said He did
He brought me through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous
It has been a long and hard road
But I haven’t had to revisit them old friends since I found my God
He gave me another chance to live
Today my life is beyond anything I ever thought possible
It is better than I thought I ever deserved
I owe my life, my heart, and my soul to my best friend
I owe it all to Him and Alcoholics Anonymous
Today my God is the Light of My Life
He gave me sobriety and Sobriety Rocks!
Written and published under my previous name in 2016
You have no control over me anymore
Jesus told me I could tell you to go back where you belong
I am telling you to go back to hell where you came from
My ears and eyes are open only to my Lord’s truths
I am His daughter
I am worth love, worth being happy and healthy
I will not listen to your lies and do what you say anymore
I will not go places that are not I know my Lord does not want me to go
I will eat what the Lord tells me to eat
I will drink only what He says is ok to drink
He guides me and teaches me what is right and holy
He will protect me and strengthen me
He fills my heart, body, mind, and soul with His love and grace
I am His daughter, His love
He is my Father, my Dad, my best Friend, my All in All
And He controls my life, all of it
You do not have any control over me
Stay away from me and my family
Go back to where you belong
It is not here
Jesus lives here
Susan M. Sedgwick
Visions in my mind continue to captivate me
Today I see their meaning for me
They began to appear around the time I was baptized
The last time I was baptized that is
I will never forget the feeling I felt on Sunday November 4 2012
It was the first time I knew in my heart and soul that I could always trust in You
One vision is of a new born baby out in the universe all alone with the stars
Over the three plus years since this baby appeared I have wondered who it could be
Another vision is of me standing out in the universe with You
I am a little girl under Your left arm and covered by Your cloak
My arms wrapped so tightly around You my Lord
I am afraid to let go
No bottom to stand on, no walls to protect me, no ceiling to cover me
Just You and me and I never felt so safe, so protected, so whole.
Today I know in my heart that that baby was and is me
You were showing me that I was born again in spirit, heart, and soul
And that vision of me as a little girl with a death hold on You reminds me daily of the 91st Psalm
That You are the love of my life, my shield, my everything, always and forever
As long as I never let go
Susan M. Sedgwick
Freedom of Recovery Dinner Dance July 22,2017 at the Scerbo Center 52 Williams Street, Mechanicville NY. Pot luck dinner begins at 6pm with fellowship and dancing following at 8 pm to live music by Dave McClements. Come and enjoy recovery from grief, addictions and any afflictions life has handed you. Bring a dish if you would like, bring a friend or 2, but mostly bring yourself and an open mind to a good time! I never thought I would enjoy dancing again after getting sober and clean but 1 year after getting into a recovery program I went to a dance and haven’t stopped. Over the years I have chaired many sober dances and enjoy watching people learn that recovery can be fun. One St. Patrick’s day dance I put together was just a few days after my husband died and it helped me to get through the sadness and loss. I didn’t cancel it because I knew he would not have wanted me to. So come and relax, enjoy fellowship, great food, and awesome music. Any questions call me @ 802-681-3033!